My whole course of life has been desultory

We went apple picking this past weekend to celebrate the apparent true launch of fall, and I somehow or other came home struck with the need to read Washington Irving.  This is from the preface to his Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon

The following is from an imperfect draught of my reply [to Sir Walter Scott’s offer of job as editor of a review], which underwent some modifications in the copy sent:

“I cannot express how much I am gratified by your letter. I had begun to feel as if I had taken an unwarrantable liberty; but, somehow or other, there is a genial sunshine about you that warms every creeping thing into heart and confidence. Your literary proposal both surprises and flatters me, as it evinces a much higher opinion of my talents than I have myself.”

I then went on to explain that I found myself peculiarly unfitted for the situation offered to me, not merely by my political opinions, but by the very constitution and habits of my mind. “My whole course of life,” I observed, “has been desultory, and I am unfitted for any periodically recurring task, or any stipulated labor of body or mind. I have no command of my talents, such as they are, and have to watch the varyings of my mind as I would those of a weathercock. Practice and training may bring me more into rule; but at present I am as useless for regular service as one of my own country Indians or a Don Cossack.

“I must, therefore, keep on pretty much as I have begun; writing when I can, not when I would. I shall occasionally shift my residence and write whatever is suggested by objects before me, or whatever rises in my imagination; and hope to write better and more copiously by and by.

“I am playing the egotist, but I know no better way of answering your proposal than by showing what a very good-for-nothing kind of being I am.

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