That was a miserable expedition for them

A fragment of Eubulus (and see Richard Hunter’s book for the best survey) preserved in Athenaeus 1.25:

Where does Homer refer to any Achaean as
eating fish? And all they did with their meat was roast it;
he never has any of them stew something,
not even a little. And none of them laid eyes on a
courtesan; they had to jerk off for ten years.
That was a miserable expedition for them; they only captured
one city, and they left with their assholes enlarged more
than the gates of the town they captured

ἰχθὺν δ᾿ Ὅμηρος ἐσθίοντ᾿ εἴρηκε ποῦ
τίνα τῶν Ἀχαιῶν; κρέα δὲ μόνον ὤπτων, ἐπεὶ
ἕψοντά γ᾿ οὐ πεπόηκεν αὐτῶν οὐδένα,
ἀλλ᾿ οὐδὲ μικρόν. οὐδ᾿ ἑταίραν εἶδέ τις
αὐτῶν, ἑαυτοὺς δ᾿ ἔδεφον ἐνιαυτοὺς δέκα·
πικρὰν στρατείαν δ᾿ εἶδον, οἵτινες πόλιν
μίαν λαβόντες εὐρυπρωκτότεροι πολὺ
τῆς πόλεος ἀπεχώρησαν ἧς εἷλον τότε.