I’ve been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand

Ian Curtis’ (Joy Division’s) Disorder: There are elements that can point to his epilepsy but I can’t see how you’d privilege those over the links to depression – itself of course partly caused by the epilepsy.

I’ve been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand
Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?
Lose sensations, spare the insults, leave them for another day
I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling
Take the shock away

It’s getting faster, moving faster now
It’s getting out of hand
On the tenth floor, down the back stairs
It’s a no man’s land
Lights are flashing, cars are crashing
Getting frequent now
I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling
Let it out somehow

What means to you, what means to me
And we will meet again
I’m watching you, I’m watching
Oh I’ll take no pity from your friends
Who is right? Who can tell?
And who gives a damn right now?
Until the spirit new sensation takes hold
Then you know
Until the spirit new sensation takes hold
Then you know
Until the spirit new sensation takes hold
Then you know

I’ve got the spirit
But lose the feeling
I’ve got the spirit
But lose the feeling
Feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling

I can’t find a proper video performance so here’s from one of their best live albums:

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